Invader Dib
by Mysterious Moonlight Maiden
Summary: What I think the finale would have turned out, had it ever been made. Rating because I'm paranoid. has an OC, but OC is sparsely used (Heck, she hasn't even showed up yet...) Script format to add to canonical feeling. Pairings include GazxZim, DibxTak, SkoodgexTenn, with slight Lard NarrxOC. I tried to keep them all in character. You can R&R... if you want.
1. Chapter 1

(Earth; The planet slowly rotates as the camera views, it zoom in on America, then to Zim's town, then slow zoom to Dib's house, and keep zooming past the roof into Dib's garage, which is cluttered with cans, clothes, medical supplies, bottles of water, and various devices, including a camera. Dib's handcuffs, the organ goggles, and multiple irken devices, including Tak's ship. Dib walks in carrying a box of notebooks and papers, talking to Gaz, who is following him.)

Dib: So you see, Gaz, the only way to reveal the aliens is to go straight to the source. Once I'm there on Irk, I can gather lots of evidence, and send it to Earth so that they could finally believe me! And I could also jump start the defeat of the Irken empire, collecting information, destroying their civilization, making them weaker and weaker before all the armies of Earth band together for one single purpose: to destroy all aliens!

Gaz: (leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed) You do realise that there are probably billions of them and only one of you, right?

Dib: Yeah, but I know their weaknesses! Water, meat, most human foods, germs...

Gaz: They're going to kill you as soon as they find out you're human.

Dib: Yes, but that's why they're not going to find out.

(Dib proudly holds up a small, Irken device that looks as though it was modified for human use. He presses a button, and his image shifts to that of a male Irken with a blue spotted pak, brownish-purple eyes covered with glasses, a blue striped dress with Dib's trademark gamer face icon, and antenna that look just like Dib's lightning hair thing, but double.)

Gaz: (Looks slightly impressed. Just slightly, though.) How'd you manage to do that?

Dib: well, it wasn't easy...I was in my lab...

Gaz: You mean the garage?

Dib:...Yes.⇁.⇁

Gaz: Continue.

(flashback to Dib's Garage; much less messy, blurred edges to show it's a flashback, when Dib speaks his voice is slightly echoed, he's tinkering with Tak's ship)

Dib: I was in my lab, studying the alien spacecraft, (Show Dib playing with the controls randomly.) when I found a secret compartment in the back of the seat. (Dib pushes a red button, which makes the cone-like cover to the seat of the Irken ship to retract, revealing more seats and whacking Dib's huge head.) In this compartment I found various alien objects. (Show Dib holding up an empty, moldy Irken Licky sticks container, and placing it inside of a clear plastic bag, supposedly for later investigation.) One of these objects was a small holographic projector, which changes one's appearance. It seemed to only work when connected to an alien PAK, so I modified it for human use. (Show Dib at a workbench, using a welding torch, a touchscreen, some tape, and a paperclip to make it human friendly, before triumphantly holding up the device.) Unfortunately, it was hardwired for Tak's human disguise. (Show Dib pressing the button and becoming human Tak, looking in a mirror and soundlessly screaming) After fiddling with it for a while, I found out that it held, not only the image of Tak's human disguise, but also of Tak's alien form and a human girl.(Show Dib fiddling with the paper clip, and an image appearing on the touchscreen of a kind of timeline slider, with Alien Tak on one end and a teenage girl on the other. The girl has blue hair, a brown backpack, extremely pale skin, a Black T-shirt with a Grey picture of a woman at the center over a long-sleeved black and grey striped dress. She also wears earrings and eye shadow. Over this timeline is a picture of Human Tak, somewhere at the center.)I discovered that an image can be created by molding two different images together.(Show Dib playing with the timeline, changing the image of Human Tak to look more like the girl when closer to her and more like alien Tak when closer to it) So I uploaded my own image to the device(Show Dib pressing a button which makes the device hover around Dib and Scan him with grid-like red laser beams) and started to meld it with the image of alien Tak, before finally finishing my Irken disguise.

(end Flashback)

Gaz: (amused) So that's why you looked like a girl for two weeks?

Dib: Hey! NEVER AGAIN!

Gaz: Whatever. (Begins to play on her gameslave)

Dib: So, Gaz... I'm going to be leaving tonight to, ya know, invade Irk and what not, and... Well, I might not be coming back.

Gaz: So?

Dib: Well... I want you to know that... You're my sister, and I love you. And I will miss you with all of my heart when I'm up there in the stars.

Gaz: Wait... so... I'm not going with you?

Dib: I'm sorry, Gaz, I know you're going to miss me, but-

Gaz: So you're going into space, right into an army of vicious, war-like aliens, probably to get grotesquely killed, and I don't get to watch?


	2. Chapter 2

(The camera shows the SKOOL, which is being filled with children slowly. A bell rings, and we cut to Zim's classroom. everyone is there, creating chaos at their desks. Everyone but Zim and Dib. The door slams open, and Zim enters the classroom, triumphant. The camera turns slightly towards Zim as everyone stares at him for a moment, before going back to what they were doing.)

Zim: It is I! the almighty ZIM! Here to destroy you pathetic human worm babies!

Ms. Bitters: You're late, Zim. Take your seat and remember to stay there after school.

Zim: SILENCE! Nobody commands the almighty ZIM!

(Ms. Bitters slithers out of her chair and towards Zim, crouching over him like a rattlesnake, teeth bared and venom in her eyes)

Ms. Bitters: Sit. DOWN!

Zim: (slightly scared) As you wish, scary Earth teacher.

(Zim crawls over to his seat and sits down, before glancing to his left and noticing something. The camera shows a sharp, slightly crooked shot of Dib's seat from Zim's point of view, a chair that is empty. A spider crawls across a web on the chair and grotesquely eats a fly. Dramatic music plays in the background)

Zim: Hey! Where is the Dib-stink! Zim Demands to know!

Ms. Bitters: He's absent. Now sit down and keep your trap shut until the school day ends.

(Zim's eyes show an expression of annoyance and anger as he puts his elbow on the desk and his fist in his cheek. Ms. Bitters slithers over to the chalkboard and starts writing something down, and begins to speak.)

Ms. Bitters: Alright, class, today we're going to learn about tectonic plates... and how they're going to CRASH INTO one another and eventually obliterate us all.


	3. Chapter 3

(We are still inside of Ms. Bitter's classroom, but her voice has become echoed as Zim stares boredly into space. His eyes start to droop, and the camera's focus is off, making the scene blurry. Suddenly, the bell rings, and Zim is startled to attention, dropping his pencil. He looks at the clock and, noticing it's lunchtime, hops out of his chair and starts for the door, a mechanical arm reaching out of his PAK and handing him a paper lunch bag. Cut to the lunchroom, where everyone is either eating, waiting in line, or just sitting around and talking. Zim walks into the room and looks around, wondering where to sit, before noticing Gaz sitting alone. He walks over to the table and stands there. Gaz lifts her head slightly and opens one eye, looking at Zim.)

Gaz: What?

Zim: The great and powerful Zim requests to sit in this seat. Are there any pathetic human worm babies who have already claimed this territory as their own?

Gaz: ... Yeah, I guess you could sit here.

Zim: That is good, because I wish to speak with you, Dib-sister.

Gaz: Whatever.

(Zim sits down next to Gaz, and puts his lunch bag on the table before putting one arm on the table and turning to face Gaz)

Zim: You see, Scary Dib-sister, the Dib human has not shown up for any of his classes. This means he is out doing something else, and I think that what he is doing is plotting.

Gaz: Are you still talking?

Zim: Furthermore, I believe that the Dib-stink is planning, preparing something against the all powerful Zim. I also believe that you know something about his plans to foil me, and-

Gaz: Alright, if you want to know why Dib's not here so badly, then why don't you just ask?

(they stare at eachother for a while)

Zim: Where is the Dib-stink?

Gaz: He went off into space to destroy your home planet.

Zim: Say what now?

Gaz: He took Tak's ship and blasted himself towards Irk.

Zim: WHAT!?

Gaz: Do I really need to repeat myself again?

Zim: He dares to invade the Irken Empire?!

Gaz: Well, I never thought about it that way, but yeah.

Zim: HOW DARE HE! INVADING PLANETS IS MY JOB!

Gaz:(sarcastic) Really? I hadn't noticed.

Zim: I must warn the Tallest IMMEDIATELY!

Gaz: That might not be as easy as you think. He disguised himself using one of Tak's holo-imagery thingys. He said he's going to slip in and merge himself with the community so that he could gather as much information as he can and exploit their weaknesses.

Zim: HE STOLE THAT PLAN FROM THE IRKEN EMPIRE!

Gaz: Perhaps.

(Zim gets up from the table and starts to pace as Gaz picks up a juice box and takes a sip)

Zim: This is awful... dreadful... what am I to do... There isn't much time... I could contact the tallest... But Gir destroyed telecommunications...there isn't enough time to repair... I must... yes...

(Zim stops pacing and stands triumphantly behind Gaz)

Zim: I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO!

Gaz: You made me spill my juice.

Zim: My apologies, filthy Earth monkey. May I get you some cleansing paper?

Gaz:... actually, yeah. That would be nice.

Zim: Very well. I shall return with the napkins momentarily. DO NOT GO ANYWHERE!

(Zim runs off in search of napkins, while Gaz just sits at her seat. a few moments pass, then Zim comes back with a handful of napkins and hands the bundle to Gaz.)

Zim: Here are the cleansing papers, Dib-sister. I am sorry there are not many, but the red-haired glue boy kept eating them, and my death ray was ineffective against the slimy Earth dwelling worm baby.

Gaz: No, it's okay. I mean, it would have been fun to watch you kill him, but I think it would have just made me sit here with juice dripping all down my front longer.(she starts to wipe herself with the napkins, and, not looking up, begins to speak.) So, why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden? How are you planning to use me?

Zim: You are much more clever than I have bargained for, Dib-sister. I wish for you to accompany me to Irk in order to expose the stinky Earth human for what he truly is.

Gaz: Why do you want me to come with you?

Zim: Because, Scary Dib-sister, though my knowledge of Earth and the Dib-human is great, you have lived upon this filthy planet with your brother for your entire pathetic existence. You know all about the Dib-stink, his weaknesses, his joys, and his desires. You would be a worthy ally to the almighty Zim.

Gaz: Why on Earth would you trust me? After all, I am the sister of your mortal enemy.

Zim: You have known my true Identity for a very long time, and have never revealed me to be inhuman. And I know for a fact that you feel pleasure from the sight of the Dib-Stink in pain. And after all... You saved my life.

Gaz: (Opening her eyes in astonishment) what! when?

Zim: When the Dib-Stink had Stolen my PAK. You brought me to him, and allowed me to live. I have never forgotten.

Gaz: Well... I only did it for my game, so...

Zim: I understand this... and that is why you must prove yourself worthy of my trust.

Gaz: ...Yeah, I saw this coming.


	4. Chapter 4

(We see the SKOOL as the school bell rings and kids pour out of the doors and windows. The camera moves in for a sweep over the heads of the crowd and goes through the door, viewing the SKOOL hallways as a few random kids stop at their lockers. The camera the moves on to the classroom of Ms. Bitters, where Zim sits at a desk at the center of the classroom, looking bored. Ms. Bitters sits at her desk, looking at Zim like a vulture, ever vigilant, with her hands folded on her desk. They both sit staring at each other for a few moments, when Ms. Bitters' phone rings. She picks it up without taking her eyes off of Zim, and puts the phone up to her ear.)

Ms. Bitters: Hello?... What do you mean, his head is stuck?... Does it have to be right now?... Yes, I understand that his safety is important... But I'm in the middle of supervising a detention, you can't just... Yes, I understand... Very well. I'll be there as soon as I can.

(She slams the phone onto the receiver, and the phone goes back into its compartment, the screams of ghosts accenting it's decent. Ms. Bitters looks at Zim.)

Ms. Bitters: Listen, child, I have to go get the Principal's head unstuck from a chair in the cafeteria. Don't think about escaping, because if you do, you'll be destroyed by the security system, just like that frog kid.

(A chord of dramatic music)

(Ms. Bitters pushes a button, and a cage slams down on Zim, effectively trapping him. Red lasers roam the room like searchlights, and spikes emerge from the floor. Ms. Bitters slithers out of the room, leaving Zim alone in the madness. Zim looks slightly frightened of the threatening security system, and touches one gloved hand to his ear.)

Zim: Centipede calling Shadow, come in shadow.

Gaz: Why are you talking in code? I know who you are, Zim.

Zim: Yes, but what if someone hacks into our frequency?

Gaz: So? It's not like this is a very secret mission.

Zim: That is what you think, Dib-sister. If you fail to rescue me from the human Earth prison called detention, then you shall not accompany Zim on the mission to reveal the Dib-Stink.

Gaz: Whatever. I'm just doing this to see my brother get destroyed.

Zim: As you wish, Dib-sister.

Gaz: What do you want me to do, again?

Zim: The Scary Earth-teacher has left the classroom, but there appears to be some form of security preventing Zim from leaving. I need you, Dib-sister, to assist in Zim's escape.

(We see Gaz inside of a ventilation vent, looking through a grate at Zim's head and Cage.)

Gaz: Got it. I'll be right there. Shadow girl, over and out.

(She removes a small pen from her pocket, and removes the cap, revealing the pen to be a small screwdriver. She uses the screwdriver on the screws of the grate, catching them before they fall. She then lifts the grate, sets it down softly on the vent floor, and uses her hands to slide through the opening, past the lasers and through the bars into Zim's cage, landing on his desk in a crouch. This startles Zim so much he falls out of his chair. Gaz holds out her hand to Zim)

Gaz: Get up.

(Zim grabs her hand and she pulls him to a standing position Zim looks at her quizzically.)

Zim: How did you...?

Gaz: Oh, like you haven't broken the laws of nature before.

Zim: Well, you got in, now how do plan to get me out-

(Gaz grabs Zim and throws him back up through the bars of the cage and into the vent, where he bonks himself in the head. Gaz sits in the seat and looks at Zim, motioning for him to get out. Zim's eyes widen, and Gaz nods. He crawls down the vent, getting out of sight just as Ms. Bitters enters the classroom.)

Ms. Bitters: (surprised) Gazlene Membrane?

Gaz: Hello, mother.


	5. Chapter 5

Ms. Bitters: (surprised) Gazlene Membrane?

Gaz: Hello, mother.

Ms. Bitters: How long have you known?

Gaz: I've always known. It's not exactly easy to keep secrets from me.

Ms. Bitters: So... how much do you know?

Gaz: Everything. I know that I'm not really your child, and neither is my brother. I know that we aren't really anyone's children. I know that we aren't human, which is why we are so different. I know my father stole your DNA to stabilize us. I know that you aren't human. I know your past. I know what you are- I know what I am.

Ms. Bitters: Does your brother know anything about any of this? Is that why he wasn't here today?

Gaz: My brother knows nothing.

Ms. Bitters: Why are you here?

Gaz: Because I want you to deliver a message for me. My brother has... moved away, and soon I'll be gone, too. Zim's going to help me with that. But my father... He'll be staying here.

(Gaz puts one hand into her pocket and removes an envelope.)

Gaz: I want you to go to my house and go down to his lab. It's in the basement. Put this on his desk where he can see it, then leave. You can use my key to get in- I won't be needing it anymore.

(Ms. Bitters sweeps her arm in front of her, creating a shadow that envelopes the key and the letter, before the shadow retracts and reveals the objects to have vanished. she then looks at the key.)

Ms. Bitters: What about your things?

Gaz: I packed essentials this morning. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be coming back home.


	6. Chapter 6

(the camera sweeps over Zim's front yard, into his door, through the living room and kitchen and towards the toilet, rotates 90 degrees downwards and travels directly down the chute and out to the room where the battle took place in the episode "plague of babies". It's cluttered with supplies, including Irken Technology, clothing, and multiple Licky Sticks containers. Zim hurriedly packs his ship , filling a compartment underneath of the seat. Gaz enters the room and plops a backpack on the ground)

Zim: Dib-Sister! How on Earth did you escape the clutches of that hideous Earth teacher?

Gaz: Hello to you too.

Zim: ...Um... so...I... How...?

Gaz: I'm not the prisoner that she wanted, and so she released me. *smirks in a satisfactory and smug fashion, almost as if the thought of Zim's destruction pleases her* She's pretty peeved at you though. She says you're going to die tomorrow at skool.

Zim: ... oh *insert Irken swear here*.

Gaz: What is that, Japanese? Anyway, we should probably get going before she kills you. *begins to walk towards the ship*

Zim: WAIT!

Gaz: *sighs* *turns around* What now?

Zim: I have a present to give you, filthy earth monkey!

Gaz:... A present?

Zim: Yes! a present.

(Zim rushes over to one of the many scattered piles of Irken Technology)

Gaz:... well that's out of character.

(Zim pulls out a small, irken-pink box with a symbol of a female Irken with angel wings and a halo on the top. He then runs happily up to Gaz and holds out the box to Gaz with a childlike happiness. Gaz takes the box and looks at it quizzically.)

Gaz: Zim, this... it looks like one of those boxes that jewelry comes in. What...?

Zim: Open it.

(Gaz opens the box and pulls out a white (or silver?) necklace of the female Irken symbol with a silver chain. She lifts the necklace so that her face can be seen in the background. Her eyes are wide open and shimmering, and her mouth is slightly open in awe. The charm slowly rotates and glitters in the light.)

Gaz: Zim... I ... This is...

(she puts the necklace back in the box and turns to face Zim)

Gaz: This is beautiful, but... why?

Zim: You shall see, filthy human Earth worm. You shall see.

(He takes the necklace from Gaz and fastens the chain around her neck. He then takes out a vanity mirror and holds it up so that the viewer can see her head and shoulders. We can see that she is now... Irken. Her skin is now green, her eyes completely amber-red, nose and ears gone, and her hair replaced by two large, square curls of antennae that are so massive that they frame her face like her hair used to. Gaz gasps and takes the mirror from Zim's hands, staring, shocked at her altered reflection.)

Zim: surprised? I knew you would like it! I - URK!

(Zim is interrupted as Gaz's hand shoots out and grabs his neck, ready to throttle him.)

Zim: Urk- gak- uh- oi- pt- hun- wheeze- ahkhka- thhh- *and other choking noises.*

(Gaz pulls his neck so as to face her now- closed eyes in a threatening manner)

Gaz: *through clenched teeth* what... did you do... to me?

Zim: *smiles* You know, little Gaz human, you are even more attractive to Zim in this state than you are usually.

Gaz: I swear, Zim, if you do not change me back right now, then I will send you into a fiery pit of torture and pain from which there is no awakening that will make you rue the pitiful day that you were born.

Zim: Ooh, I can't wait.

Gaz: Grrr...

Zim: Do not worry, scary Dib-sister. It is only an illusion. see?

(Zim reaches towards her neck and presses the eye on her necklace like a button, and her appearance shimmers back to her human self. She notices her hand has returned to normal, tosses him to the floor, and turns away from him, arms crossed.)

Gaz: Alright, Zim. I'll let you live. For now.

Zim: *smiling deviously from the floor* Zim likes to hear that from his little Gaz-monkey.

Gaz: Don't push it.

(Zim uses his pak's spider like legs to lift himself from the ground and bring himself super close to Gaz's face. Gaz stands, shocked, and Zim smiles deviously with his eyes half-lidded)

Zim: And why shouldn't I?

(Gaz's angry expression returns as she leans forward, reaches up, and grabs one of his antennae. Zim blushes like crazy as his eyes go wide.)

Zim: What are you...?

(Gaz forcefully yanks on his antenne)

Zim:*on the ground* YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!

Gaz: And THAT is why you don't mess with me.

Zim: *with tears in his eyes* WHY would you DO that?

Gaz: Next time, I won't be so forgiving when you annoy me.

Zim: FORGIVING? How would YOU feel if Zim harmed the most sensitive part of YOUR body? HUH?

Gaz: I wouldn't feel anything, because you would be dead before you even touch me.

Zim: Says you!

Gaz: You don't want to challenge me, Zim. The last person to do that is at this moment curled up in a little ball in the corner of his bedroom, whimpering to himself.

(cut to Iggins curled up in a little ball in the corner of his bedroom, whimpering to himself and blogging on a laptop. Cut back to Zim's base.)

Zim: Yeah, right. Zim does not believe that the puny little Dib-sister could ever dream to defeat a mighty Irken soldier such as myself.

Gaz: Ya know, Zim, you should really stop underestimating me. Though it may surprise you, I'm tougher than I look.

Zim: Yes, yes... listen, why don't we get going? I mean, the Dib-stink may not know where exactly he is going, but he has had a large head-start on his travel to Irk.

Gaz: ...Yeah, alright.

Zim: Gir! Minimoose! I require your presence in the repair bay. Come down IMMEDIATELY!

(The camera moves to the entrance for a tunnel, where Gir shoots out with his rocket feet wearing a sombrero and holding a suitcase with a toy pig strapped to it and Minimoose floats down behind him.)

Gir: I'm ready to go to Mexico!

Minimoose: *squeek!*

Zim: No, Gir, we are not going to Mexico. We are traveling to Irk to warn the tallest of the Dib-Stink's plans.

Gir: Then I'm ready to go to SPACE MEXICO!

Zim: *facepalms*

Gaz: Is he always this stupid?

Zim: WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK, PUNY EARTH HUMAN!

Gaz: I think he's almost as stupid as you are.

Zim:... YOU'RE LYING!

Minimoose: *Squeek!*

Gaz: Whatever. Let's just go already.

Zim: Oh, alright, fine. COMPUTER!

Computer: *sigh* What now?

Zim: Ready the ship for launch. We are about to begin our perilous journey to warn our leaders of the incoming Human threat.

Gir: YAY! ROAD TRIP!

Zim: Come on, Gir. Let us board the Voot cruiser.

Gir: O-kee-do-kee!

(Gir flies over to the Voot Cruiser and crashes inside, giggling insanely. Gaz picks up her backpack and shoulders it, stepping into the ship just after Minimoose floats in and settles down on the right side of the ship. Zim starts to step in, when Skoodge bursts into the room, looking panicked and alert.)

Skoodge: ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Gaz: Who's that weirdo?

Zim: Skoodge? Are you STILL living in my basement?

Skoodge: Yes.

(Insert awkward silence here)

Skoodge: Anyway, I have an emergency!

Zim: The bathroom's down the hall.

Skoodge: IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF AN EMERGENCY!

Zim: Whoa, jeez, calm down. Now, tell Zim what the problem is.

Skoodge: It's... its... *sigh* it's Tenn. She's in trouble. I saw a news article on the Intergax saying that the Invader on Meekrob had been captured, and was most likely either being examined or... or...

(Skoodge starts crying and slowly crumbles to the floor. Zim awkwardly leans forward and pats him on the shoulder, trying to comfort him but not really knowing how.)

Gaz: Crybaby.

(Zim shoots Gaz a glare, then goes back to comforting Skoodge. He eventually gathers himself together and stops crying, save for the occasional sniffle.)

Skoodge: I... I read that... last week... and...and kind of lost it. I was... brought back to my senses... when I heard that... that you were leaving... f-for Irk. Meekrob's on the way, so I... I thought that... mabie... we could save her. Please, Zim... you're my best friend... I've helped you... s-so much... please... just this one small favor... for me.

Zim: Well... I, uh... Guess we could at least try to save her...

Skoodge: (gets up and hugs Zim) Thank you.

Zim: Yeah, well... What are friends for?... Okay, that's enough. (Zim breaks the hug, but then smiles at Skoodge.) Besides, It's only one measly Human. How much trouble can he cause while we're gone?


	7. Chapter 7

(The camera fades to show Tak's ship drifting through the wonders of space. Cut to inside the ship, where Dib consults a digital map of the universe. He is quite obviously lost.)

Dib: well, let's see here... I think I'm in what they call the Qkix Sector of the Vaya system. Apparently Qkix means unknown, mysterious, and questioning, and not much was known about this place until about a year ago... on the exact date when Zim arrived on Earth... huh... And I want to get to the... ahh... (goes through multiple tabs) ... Irk sector of the Empiq system... I think...Ugh. I wish I could use the voice interface and just ask this thing how to get to Irk. But that option was disabled when I removed the personality program. Maybe if I can open a search program... (Dib glances in the rear-view mirror and notices a spaceship coming towards him) OH MAN! (He ducks down and fumbles with his holo-imagery disguiser mechanism, which he has in an inside pocket of his jacket. Eventually, his Irken disguise turns on, and he sits up nervously. The space ship pulls close to Dib's, and the shadow of a menacing figure with broad shoulders, horns, and glowing yellow eyes can be seen from the glass of the ship. Dib gulps. A video feed appears upon his screen, but Dib is too busy staring at the ship to notice.)

Lard Nar: IRKEN!

Dib: Ah! Oh, uh... Hi?

Lard Nar: Do not play games with us, fiend. What is your business here?

Dib: Oh, just, ah... just passing through...

Lard Nar: Really? Are you aware, Irken, that you are "Just passing through" FORBIDDEN space space?

Dib: Space space? What's that, some kind of new children's toy?

Lard Nar: (dramatic lighting turns off, and the Lard Nar we all know and love sits in a chair before us, goggles and all. Dib noticeably relaxes) No, well, okay, space space, it's kind of like air space, but without the air and WAIT A MINUTE! (dramatic lighting turns back on)

Dib: (jumps in a comical matter) Gah!

Lard Nar: This is common Irken knowledge! Who are you, to not know of space space?

Dib: Well, I... to be honest, I... I'm actually... (gulps, then looks down, ashamed) lost.


End file.
